Thank you for all of your comments. I miss Mom so much, but am so grateful to the Lord that she is no longer in agony.

The following is a letter I wrote to her after she died. God gave me strength to read it at her graveside service.


Dear Mom,

The past three months have been both torture and a blessing. We both endured our own suffering but yet today, we have both survived. You have now made your home in heaven with our Father and I remain to serve the Lord in whatever way he chooses.

Mom, I am so grateful the the Lord for putting us together. I did my best to fulfill the promises I made to you and in doing so I fulfilled the commandment of the Lord to honor you. The hardest part was allowing others to care for you, not out of selfishness, but because I wanted to give back to you everything you had given me. You allowed me to come home from my former life. You gave me unconditional love. I now have the knowledge of how you could be so loving to me when others turned me away. It was because of your love for the Lord and that the Holy Spirit resided in you.

It breaks my heart to no longer hear your voice, but with the silence I know you are at peace. When the silence is broken, it will be my own voice thanking God for the life we shared, for the valuable lessons you taught me, and for giving you to me as my mother.

Mom, you have not been taken from me because you will always and forever be in my heart. My comfort is knowing you live with the One who created you and one day, when God chooses the hour and the minute, I will join you! I will always and forever treasure my memories of you as my mother. It hurts so much to not have you with me, but I am fill with joy when I say you Mom are now my precious sister in Christ who now lives in heaven!


May you all have a blessed day!
Much love,
Teresa

In loving memory of my mom,

Hazel Alean

Born on February 28, 1926

Entered the Kingdom of Heaven July 29, 2009

Mom has been in the hospital this time for a month. The stroke occurred on April 23. Two months to the day of having the stroke, she had a heart attack. I was holding her hand when she told me of pain between her shoulder blades. I am glad she was not alone. Test later confirmed what I thought was happening at the time. There is heart damage, but she is not a candidate for cardiac cath due to her physical state. We are now taking life day by day and at moments minute by minute.

Take care
Teresa

Mom is still going through a difficult time. She has been in the hospital this time for two weeks. I sent her to a rehab twenty miles from our home after having her home for four days. She needed around the clock care from a nursing staff. The occupational therapist recommended this place and the care seemed to be good. However, she was only there a few days. They called me and said they needed to send her to the hospital. She had a fever and we later found out infection in the decubitus ulcer. None of which was the fault of the more recent rehab. Once she is released from the hospital, I hope this rehab will take her back. As of now, she is fighting gout and body pain from being in bed for two months.

If this isn't enough, I was involved in a car accident on June 15. I was in the left turn lane, waiting to turn at the hospital, when I was rear ended and shoved into the car in front of me. The woman behind me had been hit by a truck and shoved into me. I am sore but seem to be doing fine for now. I ended up going to the hospital by ambulance because of the pain in my back. They took x-rays and nothing is broken. My car just has scratches on the bumper. I was told that the bumper of the vehicle behind me went under my car. I took by car to the shop today and everything underneath looks fine.

I hope you all are doing fine. I miss blogging, but I have gotten some reading done and some stitching. My computer is still being worked on. I have been late in getting a disc to the man working on it. I was finally able to mail it today.

Take care and thanks so much for all of your prayers.

Teresa

Mom is going through a very difficult time. Yesterday she was taken from rehab back to the hospital. She has acute renal failure, dehydration and pneumonia. Also, all the good bacteria in the intestines is gone and having to be replaced. Anyone who is cleaning her has to wear protective gear to prevent them from becoming infected. I have been told her condition can be reversed. I pray they are right. She will not be returning to rehab, I will bring her home.

I think of the goals I had for her, getting her home and taking care of her. Still, I can only think in the present day. I feel selfish in expressing how tired I am when Mom is doing everything she can to hang on. When I ask her what she wants me to pray for, she says she wants to be well. When I left her today, after staying the night, she seemed to be resting. During the night she called my name and let me know she was in agony. She received pain meds which seemed to help. I thank the LORD that she is now in a hospital where I trust the care she will receive.

I went to the rehab center today and spoke to the administrator and the nurse supervisor about my views on their facility. I told the truth as to what I saw with my mom and other patients. I don't know If it helped them, but I do know that it helped me. I spoke on behalf of the patients who are not capable of participating in their own care. It seems like everything today is disposable, including people. It amazes me what blind spots people have unless it involves their loved ones.

When I first went to "tour" the rehab, I met a woman in admissions who had only worked there for a few weeks. I had a chance to talk with her today "off the record." I told her she was too nice to work there and to please look for another job. She cried, I think because of her tender heart, and told me she needed her job. I told her I would pray to God that He find her a better job and for her to start looking for work elsewhere. I could tell on her face that she is already burnt out.

I have to go now, I have other business to attend to. Thanks for stopping by and I will let Mom know of your encouraging words.

Take care
Teresa